30 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Get Married

  • Publication date: 07/18/2023
  • Updated: 07/18/2023

Tying the knot is no small feat, whether it's your first rodeo or you're getting married for the second time. It's a marathon of sorts, not a sprint. To ensure you're adequately prepared for this lifetime commitment, there are certain questions to ask before you get married. Being armed with the right information can help you avoid those pesky marital hiccups or even divorce court. This article will lay down a roadmap of 30 questions that every bride-to-be should ask herself before saying "I do".

Best Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Get Married

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Photo by Alix Gould

Let's get the ball rolling with some basic questions to ask before marriage. These are the bread and butter of pre-wedding introspection, and they serve as a great starting point to understand your own expectations and assumptions about marriage. Even though they might seem straightforward, don't underestimate the power these questions hold!

Why do I want to get married? This question encourages you to probe your motivations for wanting to walk down the aisle. Is it love that's pulling you towards this commitment, or the need for companionship? Or maybe it's societal or familial pressure? Analyzing your reasons will help you see if you're getting married for the right reasons, or if you need to reassess.

What are my expectations from marriage? Marriage is a significant chapter in one's life that comes packed with expectations. You might have dreams of a family, desire companionship, or seek financial security. It's crucial to outline your expectations clearly, and ensure they're realistic and align with your partner's expectations.

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Photo by Michelle Behre

Do I truly know my partner? Are you familiar with your partner’s likes, dislikes, aspirations, and fears? Are you aware of those habits of theirs that may seem irritating over time? Delving deep into your partner's personality will help you understand them better and improve the compatibility in your relationship.

Am I ready to make compromises? Marriage is a shared journey that requires constant negotiation and adjustment. Are you prepared to make compromises in your personal preferences, habits, or lifestyle for the sake of your relationship? This reflection will set realistic expectations about the give-and-take nature of a marriage.

Are we financially compatible? Money can become a sensitive issue in marriage if not discussed openly beforehand. Do your financial goals align with your partner's? Are you both comfortable with each other's spending habits and attitudes toward savings and investments? Discussing these matters can prevent financial disagreements in the future.

How well do we resolve conflicts? Every relationship has its share of disagreements. What’s crucial is how well you can navigate these differences, find common ground, and move forward. This self-inquiry will allow you to assess the health of your conflict resolution mechanisms.

Are our long-term goals aligned? Shared dreams of the future can be a strong bonding factor in a marriage. Whether it's about career progressions, family planning, or retirement dreams, it's essential that both of you have a common vision for the future.

What is my definition of a good spouse? This question urges you to introspect on your concept of an ideal partner. Does your partner fit this image? If not, are you willing to modify your expectations and accept your partner with all their imperfections?

Hard Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Get Married

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Shifting gears, we now enter into a more challenging territory. These are the things to consider before you get married that might be tough to confront. But remember, facing these head-ons can fortify your relationship in the long run.

Am I ready to put this person before myself? True love often involves prioritizing your partner's needs and happiness over your own. Are you ready to embrace this level of selflessness in your relationship?

Can I accept my partner exactly as they are, warts and all? This question urges you to confront your partner's flaws. It's essential to understand that your partner, like every human, isn't perfect. Are you willing to accept their imperfections without hoping for a miraculous transformation?

Have I fully let go of my past romantic endeavors? It's super important to make sure all emotional wounds from past relationships have healed before you step into a new one. Are you still feeling a little spooked by past love stories, or have you closed those chapters completely?

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Photo by Laurel Hall

Am I geared up to bare my soul to this person? When you say "I do", you're also saying "I share" - your life, your space, your fears, your dreams, and yes, even your guilty pleasures. Are you ready to lift the curtain completely, revealing your true self?

Am I good at rolling with the punches? Just like life, marriage can also be a roller-coaster ride full of ups, downs, and surprise loops. Your capacity to handle stress and bob and weave through changes speaks volumes about your readiness to take on the challenges that come with married life.

What's my personal interpretation of love? Love is as unique and individual as you are. What does it stand for in your world, and does your partner speak the same love language? Understanding this can make your bond even stronger.

Am I set for the kiddo brigade, or would I rather pass? The decision to have children is a monumental one. Are you ready to dive headfirst into the whirlpool of joy, chaos, and responsibility that is parenthood? Or maybe you'd prefer a child-free life. Either way, it's crucial to make sure you and your partner are singing from the same songbook.

Do I feel like I'm being pushed into the marriage zone? Saying "I do" should come from the heart, not from pressure. If you feel like outside forces are nudging you toward the altar, it might be a good idea to hit the pause button and rethink.

Is there something about the relationship that I'm choosing to overlook because it's awkward? Ignoring relationship issues because they're uncomfortable is like sticking a band-aid on a bullet wound. It might cover things up for a while, but it won't fix the problem. Addressing uncomfortable issues head-on, although challenging, can save you from future complications.

Important Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Get Married

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Photo by Katie Ruther

Do I feel safe, respected, and valued in this relationship? Safety, respect, and feeling valued are cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Reflect on whether your relationship is a secure space where you feel respected and appreciated.

Am I ready to face the challenges that come with marriage? Every marriage faces its share of challenges and difficult phases. Assess whether you're emotionally prepared to face these challenges and work through them.

Do I truly trust my partner? Trust is a critical component of a strong and healthy marriage. Reflect on whether you trust your partner in all aspects – their fidelity, their decisions, their commitments.

Can I communicate my thoughts and feelings freely? Open communication fosters a deeper understanding and intimacy. Reflect on whether you're able to freely express your thoughts, feelings, fears, and dreams to your partner without any fear of judgment or criticism.

If I'm planning to get married again, am I carrying any lessons from my first marriage? If you're planning to remarry, reflect on your past experiences. What were the challenges? What did you learn? Carrying these lessons into your second marriage can help avoid repeating past mistakes.

Do our values align? Shared values are an essential aspect of a harmonious married life. Reflect on whether your fundamental beliefs and values align with your partner's. This alignment can act as a guiding compass through your shared journey.

Religious Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Get Married

Photo by Araujo

Marriage is a spiritual journey too, and religion often plays a vital role. Whether you're looking for questions to ask before you get married as a Christian, Islam, or Catholic the following can help navigate this aspect of marriage.

How important is religion in my life? Religion can significantly influence one's lifestyle, decisions, and perspectives. Reflect on the role of religion in your life and how it might influence your marriage.

How will we celebrate religious holidays? This question is crucial for interfaith couples. Reflect on how you will respect and honor each other's religious holidays and traditions to ensure mutual respect and understanding.

Will our kids be influenced by religion? If kids are on your radar, ponder over the part religion might play in their upbringing. Will you raise them following a single faith, a blend of both, or perhaps without religious influence?

Am I on board with my partner's religious views? Marital bliss often blooms from a garden of mutual respect and acceptance of each other's beliefs. Take some time to mull over how much you accept and support your better half's spiritual leanings.

What religious customs and rituals do I envision us following together? Certain religious practices can help weave a stronger bond between couples. Chew over the customs you'd like to incorporate in your shared life and make sure it's a duet and not a solo performance.

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Natali Grace Levine Editor-in-Chief

Manages The Wezoree's content strategy
Writes and edits articles for the Inspiration Blog