Your Essential Guide to Save-the-Dates Etiquette

Hey there! Are you in the midst of wedding planning and wondering how far in advance do you send save-the-dates? Fear not! We're here to provide you with a super friendly and straightforward guide to help you nail the timing and save-the-date etiquette. Whether you're planning a quaint local ceremony or a lavish destination wedding, we've got the scoop on how to kickstart your wedding communication in style!

When to Send Save-the-Dates?

Typically, save-the-dates should fly out your door 6 to 8 months before the wedding. If you're planning a destination wedding, give your guests a bit more heads-up—about 9 to 12 months in advance. This head start allows your guests to mark their calendars, save up, and plan their travels. The early notice is especially helpful for those with tight schedules, such as professionals who need to request time off or families with children who need to arrange for childcare.

Additionally, early notification can also help guests manage their budgets, particularly if they need to book flights or plan an extended stay. It's also a great way to generate excitement and anticipation for your big day! Plus, for those creative couples, this extra time can be a golden opportunity to craft a truly unique and personalized announcement that shares a sneak peek of the wedding theme.

Are Save-the-Dates Necessary?

While not mandatory, save-the-dates are a fantastic way to ensure your loved ones can attend. They set the tone for your wedding and can significantly boost attendance, especially if many guests will be traveling. They're particularly crucial for destination weddings, weekend-long festivities, or weddings during peak holiday times when guests might otherwise make alternative plans. By giving a heads-up, you're also expressing that their presence at your wedding is important to you, which can make them feel valued and respected.

Furthermore, save-the-dates can help to solidify your wedding as a priority in their busy calendars. They also serve as a great way to introduce your wedding style and theme, giving guests a taste of what to expect and increasing the anticipation and excitement as your wedding day approaches.

Who Should Receive Save-the-Dates?

Send them to everyone you absolutely want at your wedding. Remember, sending a save-the-date generally means you should follow up with an official invitation later. It's crucial to be selective and only send these to those who are definitely on your guest list to avoid awkward situations later. Think about the layers of your social circles; immediate family, close friends, and essential colleagues should definitely make the cut. Also, consider the dynamics of your groups—sending to one person in a close-knit group might mean you need to include the whole group to avoid hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

Moreover, if you're planning a smaller, more intimate ceremony later, think about whether anyone receiving a save-the-date might not be included in that smaller group. Communication here is key to managing expectations and maintaining relationships.

What Information Should Be Included on a Save-the-Date?

Keep it simple: include your names, the wedding date, and the city or town. You can also add a line like "invitation to follow" to keep guests informed that more details are coming. At this stage, there's no need to overload the card with information. The goal is to ensure the date is free on your guests' calendars. You might also consider including a note about any unique aspects of your wedding, like if it's a destination event, a multi-day affair, or a themed party, so guests know what to expect and can prepare accordingly.

If you have a block of hotel rooms reserved, mentioning "details to follow" can be a thoughtful heads-up that helps them start thinking about accommodations. Finally, if you're including a wedding website, make sure it’s updated with any preliminary information guests might find useful, like travel tips or initial itineraries.

Do You Put Wedding Website on Save-the-Date?

Absolutely! If you have one, include your wedding website URL. It’s a great way for guests to find additional details about your special day as you finalize them. The website can offer more than just details; it can be an interactive experience—think of it as your digital wedding hub. Here, you can share your love story, introduce your wedding party, and update any changes or additional details as they come.

It's also a handy tool for managing RSVPs and dietary restrictions, or for sharing registry information in a tasteful way. Including the website from the get-go encourages guests to bookmark it and check back for updates, ensuring they stay engaged and informed throughout your wedding journey.

Do I Need to Include Plus-Ones on the Save-the-Date?

If you're certain a guest will have a plus-one, it’s kind to mention it early so they can plan accordingly. If unsure, you can wait until you send out the official invitations to specify. This decision often hinges on several factors, including your budget, venue capacity, and the nature of your relationships. For singles, it’s considerate to offer a plus-one if the guest might not know other attendees well or if most guests are likely to be couples. 

This early notice helps single guests feel comfortable and looked after, showing that you care about their experience at your wedding. Additionally, early heads-up for plus-ones allows people to make travel arrangements together, potentially saving on costs and coordinating plans more efficiently.

What If I'm Not Sure About My Final Guest List Yet?

It’s best to send save-the-dates only to those you’re certain you’ll invite. Adding someone later is fine, but it’s tricky to uninvite someone once a save-the-date is sent. This is a common issue for many couples, as budget constraints and venue capacities often cause fluctuations in guest lists. To avoid discomfort and potential social faux pas, consider your guest list carefully before sending anything out. If you’re in doubt, hold off on sending save-the-dates to anyone you’re not 100% sure about. 

Should Save-the-Dates Match Invitations?

Not necessarily. Save-the-dates can be less formal, giving you a chance to be more playful or creative. Matching them can be a neat touch but isn’t required. This initial announcement can be a fun way to experiment with design elements that might not make it into your more formal invitation suite. Whether you want to use bold colors, fun fonts, or quirky graphics, this is your chance to let your personalities shine through. 

Is Mailing Save-the-Dates Okay?

Mailing is the most traditional method and adds a personal touch, though digital save-the-dates are becoming popular and can be a great alternative, especially for tech-savvy guests or to save on costs. Mailed save-the-dates offer a tactile element that can be cherished as a keepsake. They are particularly appreciated by older generations who may value traditional methods of communication. 

However, digital versions are not only cost-effective but also environmentally friendly and can be a quicker way to ensure everyone receives the information simultaneously, regardless of their geographic location. Additionally, digital save-the-dates can be easily updated if details change, and they allow you to track who has opened them, giving you early insight into potential attendance figures.

What If I've Already Verbally Told Guests About the Date?

It’s still a good idea to send a formal save-the-date. It acts as a reminder and makes it official, plus it can include additional information that may be helpful to your guests. Verbal notices are easy to forget or misremember, especially if told in a casual setting. A physical or digital save-the-date can serve as a concrete reminder and show your guests that the planning is progressing and their presence is important. Plus, it's an opportunity to convey any new information or changes that have arisen since your initial conversation. It also helps set the tone and style of your wedding, giving guests a glimpse into the theme and formality of the event.

What If I Change My Wedding Date After Sending Save-the-Dates?

Send out a communication ASAP. Whether it’s a new save-the-date or an update through your wedding website or another channel, keep your guests informed to avoid confusion. Changes in plans can be frustrating for guests, especially if they've already made travel arrangements. It's essential to acknowledge any inconvenience caused and perhaps provide assistance or resources to help them amend their plans. Your understanding and proactive communication can go a long way in maintaining good relationships and ensuring that your guests still look forward to your wedding with positivity and excitement.

Should I Expect RSVPs from Save-the-Dates?

Nope, save-the-dates are just for informing your guests about the date. RSVPs are typically gathered later, with the official wedding invitations. This phased approach helps you manage your planning process better, allowing adjustments as needed before finalizing your guest list. It also prevents confusion among guests about the final commitment, as the RSVP attached to the official invitation signals that all details are confirmed and their final answer is needed. This system keeps the communication clear and the planning manageable, leading to a smoother, more organized approach to your big day.